People who are part of the same story, who live the same events often have slightly different recollections of what actually happened, but the essence of the story remains the same, the main events match, even if the details have a personalized perspective. Successful couples are like that, they each have a different way of telling the story of how they met, how they fell in love, what they did last year or last Saturday; they have their own little romanticized interpretation, but they know that behind that romantic veil is the same story, the story about how they almost walked past each other when they met, how he noticed her across the room, how she thought he had an amazing smile or he thought she had a light about her. We’re all different, there are different things that resonate with us, different ways we remember, yet we remember the same thing. That common vision can take you through the beautiful times and the challenging times, it can be the thing that keeps you grounded when you’re on cloud nine and the life line that keeps you afloat when you’re sinking.
There are also those moments when you realize you’re living in a different story than your partner, that it’s not only the little details that are different, but you’re walking on different roads, heading towards different goals, that your paths are not even intersecting; moments when your story is just yours and their story is just theirs, but there’s no such thing as our story. You have memories, beautiful moments and not so beautiful moments, but there’s nothing holding them together, no common dream that connects all those little details and moments in time.
When you look at your life, at your relationship, do you have the same story seen through different eyes, with different color lens, or are you living in completely different stories. Are you together because you have a vision of a life together or just because you happen to cross paths for a short while and then it was just sort of comfortable to still be together, even though your paths were far apart? If you were to paint your future on a canvas and your partner was painting their vision of the future on a different canvas, would there be any connection between the two. I’m not saying using the same colors or having the same strokes, maybe you’re more impressionist and they’re more expressionist, but would you even paint the same “model”? Do you even have the courage to find out? Or would you rather live in your own story and let your partner live in their story without even questioning if your stories match?