How many times do you find yourself making a decision based on what you assume the decision on the other side will be? Or you don’t even bring up a conversation because you’ve already decided how the other person will react? While it’s great to be prepared and to try to see the outcome based on previous experiences, sometimes this over-preparedness makes us hold back from fully experience the time and the people we do have around. I’ve often found myself think: I will do this because I know he/she will do that.
And then I’ve had those moments when I walk into a situation or a conversation full heartedly open to any outcome, while at the same time holding the vision of the outcome I desire in my heart. Sometimes I get the reaction I feared, the one I hoped would never happen, but more often than not, I get something even more than I held in my vision. I get beautiful surprises, little things that remind me of the beauty of the people around me and the beauty of life itself.
The problem with going into a situation guarded and with a decision already made about how the other person will react is that when we do get a different reaction, when we get the love and the compassion, we don’t even know how to react to it. We don’t know what to do because we’ve been thinking for so long about the bad reactions that we’re stopped in our tracks and at a loss for an explanation. Yet the explanation is simple, people including us, will always be the best they can be if they are given the chance.
While I’m far from being an expert at this and a lot of times I will ruin an opportunity because of my pre-conceived ideas of because I become guarded and afraid at one moment or another, I have learned that I get to be much happier and I get to experience life fully when I do come in with an open heart, with no expectations and no hold backs. This may not save me from disappointments, but it will expand my happiness to a level that I never even thought imaginable.
If you look at your life at those experiences when you hold back and at those people with whom you hold back, how would your life be different if you did embrace the situations and the people open heartedly? How much more of your time together would be happy and how many more experiences would become surreal?